Rendezvous

I've been working on a new composition, and as most people seem to know, I'm a conceptual person so I like to write out the images in my head, since they tend to be very vivid. This piece is tango-inspired string quintet.

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There's no way it's a chance encounter, not with the hushed voices and the light caresses because the shadows dance across everything, bathing the night in a warm dark blanket that casts a muffle on everything, the heady sensation rising. The man and woman are in there, dancing. You can tell they're meant for each other, the tension between them and their constant push and pull. The way she melds to him and the way he lifts her up, more emotionally than anything else. They know they should be together and that's why they're there... for the private moment, the intimacy of touching without the sexuality. That's what makes it special, because it's a laying on of hands and hips and feather-light kisses in a room that would be sedate if it wasn't for the two bodies and the way they interact. They're like art, and you can see their souls from the way they move, you can see all their feelings and emotions laid bare because that's just what they do for each other. The air is thick underneath the blanket of darkness, which only makes it quieter to the outsiders who occasionally see them, although this is intensely private. It's not a dance show, it's not some sort of exhibition. It is meant for themselves only, passions and twirls and lingering gazes...

I got over myself

"You have suffered enough and warred with yourself.
It's time that you won."

Get me out of this rut

I'm stuck. I'm stuck and I'm not moving. I hate it, I want out. My best friends are off at their respective campuses and I'm still stuck. Waiting, watching. I get depressed and lethargic and I hate it. I need something, I need motivation or at least someone close to me that I can talk to, that I can cry on and maybe just get a nice hug. I'm just so... sad. And it hurts. I mean, my turn is coming quickly but hearing them and seeing them all be happy makes me happy but at the same time it kind of strikes deep down. I wish I was there and I wish that I just wasn't so sad. And I feel like there's nothign I can do. While everyone is out, and changing for the better and finding themselves I'm just still here... sad little me. And I hate it.