The answer is yes. Because the truth is, I want something so much that it is a part of me, that I can't imagine not doing it. Though I know it would negatively impact those around me, yes. I want it. Because for me, this is what I have been working years for, and little things like money aren't stopping me. It's horrible, I'm aware, but I need this. I crave this. And the thought of not having it makes me die a little bit inside, and feel as if a part of my soul is caving in. But I could never explain that physically. No, because the selfless thing to do would be to give it up. But I don't want to. There is no other deep reason. I DO NOT WANT TO. There are so many reasons why not to, I can't even say. But the truth of the matter is that I am selfish, and I don't want to give it up and I honestly believe that I shouldn't have to.
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