I won't apologize anymore, not for just being me and for being human and fallible and curious. I won't apologize for being too passionate, for having too much feeling and for wanting to share my thoughts with the world. I am me, and I cannot ask myself to give up any more of myself than I already have, because I cannot love anyone else unless I love myself first, and I cannot love you if I do not love who I am around you. I am flawed, and I accept that. I do not want to be perfect, I want to just live and love and play music and make my own mistakes because I am done questioning the philosophy of life and my dependency on other human beings. If I love, I love fiercely. And though I have yet to love anyone more than as a very good friend, I'm sure I'll learn. Or maybe I'm already there and have yet to admit it to myself. I won't apologize for the fact that I crave physical contact, for touch and hugs and kisses and the brush of your finger on my face. Or that maybe I don't want to talk, that I just want to dance because nothing in the dictionary can explain the connection, or the feeling. Or maybe that I just want to play music because it completes me and it makes me whole. I will not apologize for letting myself be human - because even though I hurt and I yearn and I fall, i am still whole. I am myself, and I am coming to like her, and to accept it. Because I think that people believe that they need certain things to make them whole, maybe they need a lover, or maybe they need an material item, or a certain abode. And in a way, you do. But if you do not accept who you are anyways, none of those things matter. It's just a way to cover up the emptiness. And I've realized that I am a person, a whole person. And these things help to mold me and make me who I am, but I cannot apologize for all the millions of things that are wrong with me anymore. Because I don't want to. And I shouldn't have to.
No comments:
Post a Comment